One more day...

The day before Grayson arrived, I wrote my last blog post before becoming a mom... Although it was unknowing to me that he would arrive the next day! So, in keeping up with tradition I thought I should blog today before Lady O makes her arrival tomorrow! Also, I just realized it has been an entire month since my last blog post!

Not that I don't have anything to say... It's quite the opposite... I have so many thoughts and emotions and fears and anxieties and excitement of what tomorrow and the next days/weeks brings that I have thought of a thousand different blog posts and drafted up many, but I just can't filter it all out to make any sense or grammatical correctness.  And I still can't! But I documented so many of my feelings when I was pregnant with Grayson, I know that I'd be disappointed later if I didn't get it all out this time around. So... I'm just going to start typing anything that's floating around in my head... It might be one long run-on sentence, so bare with me! ;)

This time around has been so very different. More uncomfortable, more tired, lots more pain... but not just the physical things. I remember being so excited and anxious about becoming a mom. We were finishing seminary and had a lot of unknowns ahead of us, but I felt completely prepared for bringing a baby home to our little apartment. This time, I don't feel that prepared! We are settled with a great church home and jobs, home owners and a nursery - but over and over I keep telling Tony how "not ready" we are.... I keep feeling ill-prepared and I don't know why or how to shake it! This is my second kid - I should feel like I know what I'm doing a little bit more this time around. We have a bigger support system here than we did before and I am SO thankful for all that God has and is doing in our lives the last 2.5 years. 

I had no idea being a mom of a boy could be so amazing! I didn't know it could pull at my heartstrings so much or how emotional it would be. Grayson has turned my world and my heart upside down! I had (have) such a close relationship with my mom. She is my best friend. When I was pregnant with G (before I knew it was a boy) I hoped and envisioned for a little girl. I wanted such a close relationship with my child, and had no idea a little boy could fulfill it. Now I'm having a little girl and I'm so nervous! How will it change my relationship with Grayson? Will she be a daddy's girl and want nothing to do with me? I want so badly to have the same relationship with her as I do my mom, I'm nervous of the expectation I'm putting on it. I don't want Grayson to feel left out or any less because of her arrival. As much as I fear that she won't be as close to me as G is, I cannot wait to see Tony get to be a daddy to a little princess! I anticipate how much his heart will change with a little girl as mine did a little boy. I anticipate a stronger bond for my boys as I have to tend to a baby a little more. I'm excited and fearful and a little sad (all at once) that this time around I'm going back to a job after a few short months. So thankful to have a job and position that I love to make leaving my baby worth while... and at the same time sad that I won't have that time home with her as I did with Grayson. With all that's happened with Grayson and daycares I'm nervous and anxious about finding care for Olivia. Praying to God that He will send the right person for us to welcome into our home to care for our baby to many hours a day. 

And then I have moments of just pure excitement and joy! After a brief moment that I wasn't sure we'd get to expand our family, I am overjoyed and overwhelmed that God is allowing me to have a daughter. Every time I use type or say "daughter" I'm a little giddy with excitement that I get to have one. All the frills and bows and girlyness, of course, but that part of me that is ever so passionate about girls and their worth and beauty is excited to share that with my own. That God is allowing Tony and me to raise a man of God, strong and bold in his faith; and a daughter of the King, worthy and priceless. O, that He would enable us to raise our children up in His ways and use us for His Kingdom. 

.... So that was all the jumbled mess that's been floating around this last month not allowing the words to write a post. Sorry for the word and emotions explosion. ;)

Last night was my last night to put Grayson to bed and cuddle with him as an only child. Tonight he is spending the night at a friends as we have to be at the hospital at 5am tomorrow. And after my c-section I'll be limited from the stairs for a little while and won't be putting him to bed for a week or two. I won't lie, I've been a little weepy about it. More emotional than I expected about how limited I'll be with him and how much I'll miss him the next few days. But come tomorrow we will be a family of four... and as many momma friends have told me - my heart will expand to love this new little one just as much as Grayson. He already loves her and I pray for an easy transition for him and us. Please be praying with and for us. Thank you all for your support and love!

Family Pictures & Updates

I haven't been posting much (I think I blogged about that last time) - In my tiredness, comes un-creativeness in what to write; in my crazy stress of so much to do in only 10 weeks, comes me making to-do lists and online shopping instead of blogging.

We had such a sweet weekend together as a family last weekend that I had to stop and share. I'm sure you've seen lots of pictures on facebook, but there's more! ;)

Last Saturday we woke up and braved the cold, rainy weather to snap some last pictures as a family of three. I'm so thrilled with how they turned out and captured my energetic and loving two year old! The overcast was perfect, even if we were freezing. But the cold was worth it to get get pancakes and hot chocolate after! I'm sure you've seen them already - but Grayson LOVED the hot chocolate, and it was such a fun memory maker!

The closer to baby's arrival the more intentional and emotional I have gotten about making memories with Grayson and as a family of three. I cannot believe that we will be a family of four soon and Grayson will be a big brother!

Without further babbling... Here are some more of our favorites :)

  

I think the last two are my favorites right now! I love seeing the personalities of Tony and Grayson playing together - It's completely authentic of what I see everyday. Sweet moments captured... So thankful! It only makes me more and more excited for little one to get here and see how Grayson is with her.

Speaking of - I had my 30 week appointment today (I'm technically 30 weeks next week)... Which means we only have 9-10 weeks to go!! :) I'm so excited, and the weeks with all the holiday fun are going to fly by! So now I'm just hoping we can get stuff done!  Monday we are leaving for an Illinois Thanksgiving and I am praying for safe travels and not too much swelling. Looking forward to relax with family one last time before we have to travel with two kids! I will update you after Thanksgiving! :)

It's a...

GIRL!!!

We are absolutely thrilled to be having a daughter! Tony is already in protective daddy mode and mommy is over the moon and searching out the cutest bows!

We told Grayson mommy had a girl in her tummy and he said: "No, girl... baby in your belly!" No matter how many times we try to explain, he is insistent that it is a baby, not a girl. LOL.

So here is our sweet little Olivia Rose Bianco!

 

We had this idea to take a picture of Grayson looking mean and shaking a fist to say "don't mess with my little sister"... But that kid is such a cheese ball!! He wanted to say cheese and smile and then see himself! So here are some of the best outtakes ;)

 

 

 

 

 

And here's the best family photo we got... :)

And since I haven't given a pregnancy update in a while... Here I am at 20 weeks.

 I am 21 weeks now and have my next appointment tomorrow. I'm not sick/nauseous anymore, but that 2nd trimester energy never came this time around. I'm pretty achy, but enjoying this little blessing!

Thank ya'll for all your prayers and encouragement and congratulations! You continually lift our spirits, warm our hearts and make us smile! :)

Life Update

I realized that I haven't really posted a real life update since announcing I was pregnant. So I'm skipping this week's Let's Get Real for a little update on life goings on lately. :)

If you seen on Facebook recently we moved Grayson up into a "big boy bed" a couple of weeks ago! We were completely surprised with how smoothly this transition has happened! I'm pretty sure it's not normal, and we'll probably get paid back with something else (like potty training). We got a cool looking (I'm thinking for when he's a tween) day bed from Ikea and put up a bed rail so he doesn't roll out. The day of the transition I took Grayson to Target and let him pick out his own sheets. It was a tough decision between Ninja Turtles and Cars, but he finally decided on Cars sheets. He was soo excited that night to sleep with his new sheets that he picked out. I think that was the best thing we did for the transition. Then right away we told him that there was no jumping on the bed and no getting out til mommy/daddy came to get him... That was it! He's like brainwashed or something... He repeats those two rules and we've never had an issue! It's only been two weeks, but I'm pretty proud! I expected that first night to be a sleepless one for us... but it was completely smooth and I was in shock when I woke up in the morning.

 
 
 

Also, his current obsession has been all things Toy Story. We have been watching 1, 2 &3 on a repeating roll! We even downloaded some of the short toons just so we could watch something different. Last weekend he was soo excited when Nana and Papa sent him a Buzz Lightyear! He keeps holding it up in the air and yelling "Buzz Lightyear!! To infinity and beyond!!" It's adorable. Buzz goes with him everywhere though!! He sits at the dinner table with us, cuddles on the couch with us, has to ride in the car anywhere we go... It's been less than a week and poor Buzz is already looking worn out.

 

 

And finally, a small pregnancy update. I am 16 weeks now and things are soo different this time around. I assumed since I've already done this once that it would be easier and my body already knows what to do so it shouldn't be painful...NOT. My body did know how to pop out a huge belly quicker than last time... but everything else has been different. I'm in all new territory. I had morning (all-day) sickness everyday for 10 weeks, and I still get a little queasy before bed. I'm a lot more achy this time around and cannot seem to find energy or stay awake (could have something to do with my active 2 year old). But baby and me are growing and healthy and we will find out boy/girl next month! We are all super excited! Grayson is just the sweetest! He rubs my belly and lays his head on my belly when we cuddle. He says "sowy (sorry) baby" if he's too rough with me... it's precious! I started feeling little kicks this last week, which remind me of the great things of being pregnant. Now I just can't wait til Tony and Grayson can feel the kicks too!

 

Just for comparison - Here I am at 16 weeks with Grayson...

  And here I am with Baby Bianco 2.0 (as Tony like to call it)... much bigger! ;)

 

 

 

Update and back story

We just got back from Rush Week this weekend and have lots to catch up on and pics of our week and Grayson's week with Nana and Papa! Until I can write it all out and go through all the pics, here is an overdue update. :)


So I am 13 weeks along now and finally starting to feel good again. This pregnancy is much different than with Grayson, but I am soaking it all up! So here is a little back story of how this has all happened...

Back in early May I was feeling just off.. ya know? And we had been trying to get pregnant and wasn't getting pregnant and so I thought I'd just go in and make sure there wasn't anything going on with me that would be affecting anything. One of my blood tests came back that I had a low ovarian reserve level (the blood levels of my remaining eggs) and it was abnormally low for my age. So basically it might be difficult for me to get pregnant on my own. I began to process and grieve the idea that it just might not happen again for us.

Fast forward five weeks, and I was still feeling just off. Exhausted and cramping and I was late. I didn't think anything of it or that it could even be possible so soon after such news, but I asked Tony to stop by the store on the way home and get 3 different brands of tests, just in case.

Imagine my surprise, excitement, joy and awe when this happened...

 

 

I'm not really sure if God was testing my faith to trust Him or if He is just showing off. ;) I am completely in awe of the miracle He is allowing to grow in me right now! He is so much bigger than tests results or what a doctor says. Praising Him!

 



Big news

Grayson is super excited to share with you ...

We are pretty excited! Lots more to share about everything, but we are leaving tomorrow for camp and I will post when I get back in a week! :)

Grayson's Arrival!

Just one day after my last blog post, Grayson made his surprise arrival! I know I am almost 3 weeks late posting this... but time really gets away from you with a new born!

Let me catch you up with what has happened the last couple weeks.... Friday morning (March 9th) I woke up about 7AM thinking I was wetting the bed! I woke Tony up and texted a couple friends trying to find out what was going on... b/c I really didn't know that my water had broke. As far as I knew, we were scheduled to have the c-section on Monday and that was that - we had a schedule to stick to.. haha. So after about an hour, a phone call to the Dr and a quick shower we wereheaded to Baylor Hospital in Dallas. Tony kept his cool - though I think he was a littlefreaked, as he got from Ft Worth to Dallas in about 30 minutes!

After a few hours of contractions they were finally ready to do the c-section at 2pm. I was so scared, but the doctors and staff were great; and at 2:33 PM Grayson Anthony Bianco made his arrival.

He is absolutely perfect!! Weighing 7 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long.

That's all I've got for now (sorry for the teaser), but more to come! :)

The last weeks...

Weeks 36-38 are a big blur. I know that we had our ABC's of Baby class at week 36, which went really great. We learned a lot about Infant CPR, Breastfeeding, baby bathing and swaddling and safety... and feel pretty prepared. Week 37 I got to go to one more JBF consignment sale and got a ton of clothes for Grayson. We've had weekly doctors appointments which have gone fairly well. Grayson is doing great - heartbeat is good and he is measuring on track! :) I, however, have been swelling quite a bit and have some protein in my urine... So because of that, at week 38 I was put on early maternity leave with limited bed rest.

So this equals a lot of this:

We've been doing a lot of baby laundry and organizing getting ready for his arrival!

Week 36 and 37

Week 38

We kicked off week 38 (right before being put on limited bed rest) with a little baby moon! We wanted a small one night get away where we could rest and enjoy being alone. So we stayed a night at the Magnolia in Dallas and rested and went to the Dallas Aquarium on Saturday for a little fun.

He is so handsome! I'm so excited for him to become a DAD!

After the aquarium, we stopped by the Dallas Farmers Market. We had never been there before and wanted to make sure we were able to experience it. It was great and so much great produce!!

And we even snuck in a quick movie to end our weekend, thanks for a group on deal!

So that's whats been going on in these last weeks! I've been at home getting ready for Grayson while resting up. Saturday my mom and Tony's dad and sister will get in town! :) Sunday Tony will be preaching at church (praying this baby boy doesn't come early!). And Monday (at way to early in the morning) we will all go to Baylor in Dallas for my C-Section and welcoming Grayson into the world!!! I cannot believe it is already time to meet our son and become parents!! Please pray for us and family as they travel... pray for our doctors and a smooth surgery and hospital stay.