Dear Grayson...

Sunday is your birthday! Tomorrow you Nana and Papa and Gigi are all coming into town and Saturday we will celebrate you with our friends and family all surrounding. I want you to know how incredibly loved and blessed you are! You have so many people that love you and support you (us, as your parents) and pray for you. More than that, you Heavenly Father LOVES YOU! He created you and finds such joy and delight in you!

So do we. Your dad and I love you SO much! You have changed us. You've made us grow up, you make us grow closer to each other and to God, you give us such joy and fill us with such pride that God gave you to us!

 You help us find the silly and fun moments in everyday. You help me to relax and enjoy the moments with you - as they are so fleeting.
 

 

It is such an honor to be your momma! I love to watch you. You have the sweetest personality that wants to hold my hand when I'm driving and ask if I'm okay when I'm crying and says "Sowy Mommy" anytime I hurt myself. You are the sweetest little boy! 

 

I love to watch you with your daddy! You two are something else when you are together, it makes my heart so happy! You love to chase each other and high-five, you love to attack and tickle mommy together, you love to sit and watch Cars together and share a snack. Watching you two fills my heart to overflowing.

 

Sometimes I just sit and watch what a growing boy you have become and are becoming. There are moments I want to freeze time because I cannot believe how big you look or are acting. It amazes me that I get to be your momma! You have so much to teach me and I have soo much I want to teach and share with you.

Your daddy and I were together a long time before we had you - but you made us complete! My first born, you will always have my heart. You will always be on a learning curve with us as me and your dad learn daily from you and from God how to do this parenting-thing. We love you, son and are so blessed by you. 

Let's Get Real Thursday

I know I've been going Grayson crazy on here this week (and today is no different), so I wanted to get real with you here and explain why.  Most people (myself included) don't make the 2nd birthday a huge deal... 1, of course!... 5 and 10, big deals! (PS - birthdays are big deals in my family)... But 2 usually isn't anything to blog about for a whole week! Lol. (Although, I think birthdays should be celebrated all week... but that's just me).

For some reason, I am struggling with 2... More so than I did with 1. Grayson's first birthday was so sweet and the night of his birthday, while I gave him his last bottle of formula and rocked him to sleep, I cried my eyes out that my sweet baby was a ONE year old.  But, he was still my sweet baby. I still gave him a bottle before bed and rocked him to (almost) sleep. He couldn't walk yet and still needed and relied on me for most everything.



This year my  momma heart is being tugged at as I have watched my sweet little baby turn into this little boy! He still needs me (always will) and relies on me for most things... But he has also grown and developed so much in this short year that I am daily surprised by him and all that he can do! He doesn't just walk, he runs! He's talking more and more each day and his little personality is quite amusing. He has moments that I want to freeze where he is my sweet baby again wanting to cuddle to momma and rock in his chair... but those moments are few a far between the moments of running and playing and laughing and tantrum throwing and ball throwing and jumping.... 2 is a HUGE deal! And it's harder and more fun and sweeter and more frustrating and more entertaining and way more proud and joy filled moments.

Looking back

By the end of this week, you are going to be sick of my blog and all the pics of Grayson... But really, how could you get sick looking at this sweet face!?

Yesterday I re-posted Grayson's birth story... Today, I have little words and just wanted to post some of my favorite pics of our growing boy!

 

 

Birth to 3 months

 

 4 months to 7 months

 

 8 months to 11 months

 

1 year old!

18 months

Grayson's birth story

As I said yesterday, I am being a complete sap and reminiscing of Grayson being born... In doing so, I read through old blog posts and looked through pics of him being itty bitty. I was going to go through his whole birth story - but I thought it'd be easier just to repost from the blog on March 29, 2012....

Grayson's Arrival!

Just one day after my last blog post, Grayson made his surprise arrival! I know I am almost 3 weeks late posting this... but time really gets away from you with a new born!

Let me catch you up with what has happened the last couple weeks.... Friday morning (March 9th) I woke up about 7AM thinking I was wetting the bed! I woke Tony up and texted a couple friends trying to find out what was going on... b/c I really didn't know that my water had broke. As far as I knew, we were scheduled to have the C-section on Monday and that was that - we had a schedule to stick to.. haha. So after about an hour, a phone call to the Dr and a quick shower we were headed to Baylor Hospital in Dallas. Tony kept his cool - though I think he was a little freaked, as he got from Ft Worth to Dallas in about 30 minutes!

After a few hours of contractions they were finally ready to do the C-section at 2pm. I was so scared, but the doctors and staff were great; and at 2:33 PM Grayson Anthony Bianco made his arrival.

He is absolutely perfect!! Weighing 7 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long.

That's all I've got for now (sorry for the teaser), but more to come! :)

2 Years Ago....

2 years ago on a Monday morning I waddled into my cozy office desk job at the College of Southwestern Seminary for what I didn't realize was the last time. I worked for a little while before driving to Dallas for what I didn't realize would be my last Dr.'s appointment pregnant. After the appointment I headed back to our apartment, not work, because I was put on partial bed rest from all the swelling. 2 years ago I was getting excited for a week off before all the family got in town over the weekend. I was getting excited to purchase the last few items when they got here and had restaurants picked out to go to with our family over the weekend for my last meals not being a mom. 2 years ago I looked forward to my week of resting and sleeping in and napping before the crazy weekend was to get here.  2 years ago, the plan was for our family to fly into TX on Friday and spend a nice relaxing weekend getting ready for Grayson to arrive and then we would all go to the hospital Monday morning ready to meet him!... That was the plan.

Today, I am sitting in another cozy office desk job at our church. And I am getting excited for our family to come into town this weekend... But it's not so relaxing this year. This year I have an almost 2 year old (what!?) that I send off to "school" (daycare) every morning. This year I'm getting excited and frantic with all the party planning and prep work for this weekend.... This year, like every year since 2 years ago, I am a total sap thinking about my sweet boy growing up way too fast. 

2 years ago, he surprised us and came quicker and earlier than we expected. And nothing has changed since... He continues to grow and develop quicker than I expect and I'm not ready for my baby to be this big toddler!

Let's Get Real Thursdays

It happens on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Each morning driving to school we listen to one of Grayson's favorite songs or cds.... All you mommas know what I'm talking about.... Veggie Tales Road Trip CD, Wheels on the Bus, If you're Happy and You Know It, Toddler Silly-Songs cds... And SO. Many. More. We sing and dance and giggle and it's a par-tayy! Then I take Grayson into school, get back in my car and continue to listen (and sing!) to these silly, annoying songs for a good 5 minutes before I realize... Grayson is not in the car! I could be listening to normal adult music right now!....

Let's Get Real.... We've all done it... Right!?... Tell me I'm not alone here! ;)

Happy Thursday!

Let's Get Real Thursday

Ok friends, let's get real.... My son is turning TWO in 2.5 weeks!.... And somehow somewhere in that little brain or body he knows he is approaching two and therefore has begun to act as such... Terrible Twos. What is it about those two words that invoke such fear, stress, frustration, rip-my-hair-out-ness?!? And I hear that the Horrible Threes are even worse... Awesome.

I was told that motherhood was the hardest and best job in the world by many people.... I believed them... in theory. I knew that this mom-thing was going to be tough and great and hard and wonderful and grueling and joyful ... and I could keep going. I knew all these things... In my head. But in action, it is just so much more REAL. Are we getting real enough yet today!? LOL.

The last couple weeks we have begun with the horrible tantrums and ear-curdling screams and there are moments (too many to count) when I think, "What am I doing!? I have know idea what I'm doing!" Such a sense of mommy insecurity, mommy guilt, personal failure and completely feeling lost. And then there are small slivers of moments with my son that God so sweetly reminds me, "It's okay." When he just wants to hold my hand in the car to help him calm down. When he chooses to hug my leg SO tightly, even amidst crying not wanting me to leave him at school. When he says "Thank you" without being asked. When he says "Daddy is his best friend". Those very small moments remind me how wonderful motherhood is and how MUCH I love my son... I mean, bring-me-to-tears-just-typing-this, LOVE my son.

The real part is, that at the end of the day, after another dinner battle to eat his food or no "snack" and no we are not watching cars for the thousandth time tonight, those sliver of great moments can get lost in the not-so-great moments. And I can walk down the stairs after putting him to bed and feel completely defeated from all the not-great moments.... instead of relishing and being ever so grateful for the really great moments that were sprinkled in my day. So that's my challenge... to myself, to my momma-friends.... Let's hold on tightly to our great moments of the day! Lets try to not dwell on the tough, hard and grueling moments and relive and love the great, wonderful and joyful ones!