2 Years Ago....

2 years ago on a Monday morning I waddled into my cozy office desk job at the College of Southwestern Seminary for what I didn't realize was the last time. I worked for a little while before driving to Dallas for what I didn't realize would be my last Dr.'s appointment pregnant. After the appointment I headed back to our apartment, not work, because I was put on partial bed rest from all the swelling. 2 years ago I was getting excited for a week off before all the family got in town over the weekend. I was getting excited to purchase the last few items when they got here and had restaurants picked out to go to with our family over the weekend for my last meals not being a mom. 2 years ago I looked forward to my week of resting and sleeping in and napping before the crazy weekend was to get here.  2 years ago, the plan was for our family to fly into TX on Friday and spend a nice relaxing weekend getting ready for Grayson to arrive and then we would all go to the hospital Monday morning ready to meet him!... That was the plan.

Today, I am sitting in another cozy office desk job at our church. And I am getting excited for our family to come into town this weekend... But it's not so relaxing this year. This year I have an almost 2 year old (what!?) that I send off to "school" (daycare) every morning. This year I'm getting excited and frantic with all the party planning and prep work for this weekend.... This year, like every year since 2 years ago, I am a total sap thinking about my sweet boy growing up way too fast. 

2 years ago, he surprised us and came quicker and earlier than we expected. And nothing has changed since... He continues to grow and develop quicker than I expect and I'm not ready for my baby to be this big toddler!

Let's Get Real Thursdays

It happens on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Each morning driving to school we listen to one of Grayson's favorite songs or cds.... All you mommas know what I'm talking about.... Veggie Tales Road Trip CD, Wheels on the Bus, If you're Happy and You Know It, Toddler Silly-Songs cds... And SO. Many. More. We sing and dance and giggle and it's a par-tayy! Then I take Grayson into school, get back in my car and continue to listen (and sing!) to these silly, annoying songs for a good 5 minutes before I realize... Grayson is not in the car! I could be listening to normal adult music right now!....

Let's Get Real.... We've all done it... Right!?... Tell me I'm not alone here! ;)

Happy Thursday!

Let's Get Real Thursday

Ok friends, let's get real.... My son is turning TWO in 2.5 weeks!.... And somehow somewhere in that little brain or body he knows he is approaching two and therefore has begun to act as such... Terrible Twos. What is it about those two words that invoke such fear, stress, frustration, rip-my-hair-out-ness?!? And I hear that the Horrible Threes are even worse... Awesome.

I was told that motherhood was the hardest and best job in the world by many people.... I believed them... in theory. I knew that this mom-thing was going to be tough and great and hard and wonderful and grueling and joyful ... and I could keep going. I knew all these things... In my head. But in action, it is just so much more REAL. Are we getting real enough yet today!? LOL.

The last couple weeks we have begun with the horrible tantrums and ear-curdling screams and there are moments (too many to count) when I think, "What am I doing!? I have know idea what I'm doing!" Such a sense of mommy insecurity, mommy guilt, personal failure and completely feeling lost. And then there are small slivers of moments with my son that God so sweetly reminds me, "It's okay." When he just wants to hold my hand in the car to help him calm down. When he chooses to hug my leg SO tightly, even amidst crying not wanting me to leave him at school. When he says "Thank you" without being asked. When he says "Daddy is his best friend". Those very small moments remind me how wonderful motherhood is and how MUCH I love my son... I mean, bring-me-to-tears-just-typing-this, LOVE my son.

The real part is, that at the end of the day, after another dinner battle to eat his food or no "snack" and no we are not watching cars for the thousandth time tonight, those sliver of great moments can get lost in the not-so-great moments. And I can walk down the stairs after putting him to bed and feel completely defeated from all the not-great moments.... instead of relishing and being ever so grateful for the really great moments that were sprinkled in my day. So that's my challenge... to myself, to my momma-friends.... Let's hold on tightly to our great moments of the day! Lets try to not dwell on the tough, hard and grueling moments and relive and love the great, wonderful and joyful ones!

 

Let's Get Real Thursday

Let's get real... I am a full-time working mom. That means that I get less than an hour with my kid in the mornings (not counting the drive), and a good 3 hours with him before he's in bed, Monday through Friday. I want to soak up these precious few hours! However.... I am tired of getting the tired, cranky leftovers of my kid's mood! Any other momma's with me here!?

The mornings he is tired and cranky and doesn't want to leave the house (his shows and cuddles) to go to school and then the evenings he is tired and cranky because he gave his best behavior hours to his teachers and friends and now he's just a puddle of tantrums and whining. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, but it's sometimes really frustrating during the weekdays to have the worst parts of my kid... knowing that he was happy and playful and good throughout the day. That's my rant and now I'm done. :)

Disclaimer: I absolutely love every hour that I get to have with my child and I soak up the whiny, needy cuddles with every ounce of my being. I am a momma, I work full-time and I am BLESSED.

Daughters of the King

For as long as we have been in ministry I have been dreaming and planning of girls' events that I want to have... This weekend I had the privilege of fulfilling one of those dreams. My sweet Jesus gave me a call to girls ministry and I have been struggling with what that looks like with my role as Tony's wife and as a mom. I have all these ideas and plans in my head and heart, if I were to ever have the chance.... and this weekend I got the chance.

Since October a team of amazing ladies and I began to pray and plan and prepare for our very first middle school girls retreat. We called it Daughters of the King: How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! (John 3:1) We began with the idea that we are daughters of THE King.... The King of all kings is Our Daddy.... How awesome is it that we get to have that kind of intimate relationship with Him!?

Ya'll - I have been blown away by this event and all that it involved! I had a circle of amazing women praying for the event and for each girl that would be ordained to be there. An amazing team of talented and dedicated women helping me plan every last detail. An amazing group of panel speakers who would open up their hearts and share their stories with us. A God that held me up and wrapped His loving arms around me when I felt Satan attacking me from every angel (and he did). A handful of sweet, close friends, knowing the spiritual warfare that I was going through trying to pull this event off, who prayed with and for me, texted me constantly to uplift and encourage me, sat with me to hug me and cry with me and even brought me Starbucks the morning of. I felt God in it all and I felt Him so sweetly whisper to me how, even if for this one event, He was showing me how I can still do what I've been called to in girls' ministry.

It was an amazing day with an incredible turn out! It was so neat to just sit and be fed by our panel of speakers after all the planning. I am so blessed by my King Daddy! So thankful and already excited and praying for next year!

12 years ago

 Twelve years ago today I had a crush on a cute 16 year old boy. That cute boy asked me to "go out" with him and to our Valentine's dance and I said YES.

 I didn't know it then, but that would be THE most important, life-changing decision I will have ever made. It would change the course of my life over the next twelve years. Because I said yes to him, I began going to his church and his youth group and would get to fall in love with, not just him but, my Abba-Father. Because I said yes to him, I would make life-long friends with those in his youth group that would carry me on through those twelve years. Because I said yes to him, I was adopted into his family in a time that I needed a family, and as a Daughter of the King. Because I said yes to him, I got to partner alongside that cute boy in ministry for the next twelve years. Because I said yes to him, he became my best friend and life partner and we would get to experience so much together through the next twelve years.

I can see now looking back what a life changing decision it was to say yes to that cute boy twelve years ago. I see now what a turn my life took by saying yes and I am SO grateful and blessed that God would use a cute 16 year old boy to change my life forever. Tony is my greatest gift my sweet Father could have given me. After saying yes twelve years ago, I got to be in ministry, go on missions, go on vacations, move to Texas, become a mom..... Who knew a Valentine's dance date would make such a life changing difference! ;) Happy Date-A-Versary Love!

Let's Get Real Thursday

So Grayson is on some prescription medicine. It is not liquid... So we have to crush up tablets and try to mix the powder in some food. He can still taste the medicine and refuses to eat anything that we've mixed it with. And I'm not one to force my kid to eat food and then he be traumatized by said food and never eat it again... ya know!?

So, We've started pouring the powder in a medicine syringe and filling it with chocolate syrup. He. Loves. It. Judge all you want for giving my kid straight chocolate syrup... but a momma's gotta do what a momma's gotta do!

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A spoonful of sugar (chocolate) helps the medicine go down!